Tag: athlete protection

I have been disingenuous with you. And it’s time for me to come clean.

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When I read the news headlines about the sexual abuse and harassment that members of our National Women’s Soccer League have been enduring, I felt the all-too-familiar twist in the pit of my stomach. I sighed and thought to myself, “Again.” Then I wondered, “How bad does it have to get before things change? How many more people have to get hurt?”

I felt defeated.

Though this isn’t ‘child sexual abuse’ because these women are over 18 years old, it is representative of a much deeper issue. These experiences didn’t happen in a vacuum and they didn’t happen overnight.

I later read a post on Glennon Doyle’s Instagram page about those who knew about the abuse and did nothing to stop it.  Same song; different verse.

But, I paused to read some of the 1,272 comments. I read disclosure after disclosure…women sharing the child sexual abuse they suffered when they played sports as children and teens. Most of these women were girls competing at an elite and/or collegiate level and too many disclosed their abuse when it happened and were told to keep it to themselves because of the harm it would do to their prestigious coach’s reputation or because the family needed that coach’s connections for the best collegiate program, the scholarship or placement on the National Team. Comment after comment after comment…

This rage started to boil within me, and it filled me with tears. My heart hurt.

I have worked with and spoken with many youth sports organizations and coaches who are doing this right; who are making sacrifices for the absolute betterment of our children.  Bless them. Truly.

But my thoughts couldn’t go there…my thoughts kept returning to the youth sports organizations who didn’t want to do this work of child sexual abuse prevention because……

…if we do this training, won’t parents think we have a problem?

…we’re right in the middle of the season, can we talk in a few months?

…the season just ended and we’re already starting to prepare for next season, can we talk in a few months?

…we already ask so much of our volunteer coaches, I just don’t think we could ask them to do one more thing.

Would you like me to go one?  Because, I can.

Too many youth sports organizations close their door to this hard work. Too many coaches talk about how there is nothing more important than the safety of their athletes, but can’t seem to get a training on their personal calendar.

For crying out loud!

ONE IN 10 CHILDREN ARE SEXUALLY ABUSED BY THEIR 18TH BIRTHDAY AND 90% OF THOSE CHILDREN ARE ABUSED BY SOMEONE THEY KNOW, LOVE AND TRUST!

That right there should be enough of a reason. But just in case it’s not, there are plenty of other reasons.

I could talk about how it’s highly likely your organization won’t be able to get insurance if you don’t take some proactive measures to mitigate risk. I could talk about the PR nightmare that results from an allegation of abuse in an organization that could have/should have done so much more. I could talk about how that PR nightmare will likely close down your organization and dry up your funding.

I knew that this was, what’s called, a teachable moment. So I sat down to make a quick video for each day of this week that had one important and practical thing we can each do to prevent child sexual abuse in youth sports. Something easy for people to digest.

Child sexual abuse prevention is a difficult topic; these conversations can be triggering and scary. I truly believe in meeting people where they are and helping them move forward, from wherever their starting point is. This is so important to me that it’s one of my company’s Guiding Principles.

So that’s what I tried to do. I didn’t want to scare people off; I wanted to educate and empower. You know…move the needle. And I posted possibly the worst video I’ve ever done in my life.

Because I was trying to act like this:

When I really felt like this:

What else do people need to know to make a change? To stop talking and start doing? To step through the discomfort because…well…their discomfort in discussing this is a walk in the park compared to the ‘discomfort’ of one of our children being sexually abused.

What else can I possibly say?

4 Reasons Why Background Checks Get More Credit Than They Deserve

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If I had a nickel for every time I was told, very proudly and boldy, “We do background checks” when I signed up my kids for a sports team, summer camp or afterschool program…

Well, I’d have a whole lot of nickels.

You see, background checks get a lot more credit than they deserve.

Why, you ask? I have 4 good answers, but the most important one is: 

A background check reveals only when a person has been convicted of a crime. Not arrested for a crime and not when there is a plea bargain. (BTW, plea bargains happen quite a lot in child sexual abuse cases to prevent the child from having to testify in front of their abuser.)

Think for just a minute how many child predators actually get caught. Then think about how often there is enough evidence to arrest a person; and charge them; and then convict them.

Additionally, an individual could be arrested multiple times, but if they are never convicted, their background check comes back squeaky clean.

Reasons #2, #3, and #4 that background checks are too heavily relied upon: Background checks are not created equally. For example, does the background check…

flag felonies and misdemeanors? Or just felonies?

search a national data base? Or just state or county records?

flag convictions other than crimes against children? Domestic violence? Indecent exposure?

So, do I think background checks are useless?  Absolutely not. They are a very important part of the hiring process. They just shouldn’t be the entire hiring process. 

Youth serving organizations need to research and be very intentional about what level of background check they are using with their candidates, and parents need to be informed what exactly is searched and what is not.

Background checks are a very important data point, but they are most effective as one data point in a comprehensive hiring process.

Next time you sign up your child for an activity, be sure to ask about their child protection policies and when they proudly and boldly answer, “We do background checks!” you can now ask them what kind.

 And your child will be safer for it.

Thank You “Athlete A”

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Friends, please meet “Athlete A” – Maggie Nichols. Maggie just graduated from the University of Oklahoma and she is, arguably, the best collegiate gymnast we have ever seen. And, it wasn’t that long ago when many said she was good enough to represent the United States at the 2016 Olympics.

While those titles and accolades are very important, they are not THE most important thing about Maggie Nichols.  It is her courage for which I will always honor this young lady. 

Maggie Nichols was the first person to report Larry Nassar’s sexual abuse to USA Gymnastics. She opened the door for more than 500 other young women to step forward and disclose their abuse at the hands of the USA Gymnastics team physician. And her voice was among many publicly and privately calling for a culture shift within the National Governing Body.

There are many, many lessons to be learned from this horrific history of child sexual abuse. But, in my humble opinion, here are the most important things parents, coaches, sports team/program administrators and youth works can learn…

☑️ Youth protection, specifically child sexual abuse prevention, needs to be consistent and constant.

☑️ We can’t make youth protection a priority only when it’s convenient or not uncomfortable.

☑️If your organization or family has policies or ways of doing things to minimize the risk of abuse, then no one…and I mean no one…should get a pass because of their prominence in the community, their relationship in the family, or how long you have known them.

It’s that simple.  Let’s not make it more complicated than it needs to be.

Safe Sport Authorization Act? What The Heck Are You Talking About?

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Are you involved in amateur youth sports? How about a travel team that competes outside the state? Perhaps you run this sports organization or perhaps you are a coach, volunteer or parent.

If you are part of an amateur youth sports organization that participates in interstate or international competition, you now fall under the mandate of a new federal law, “Protecting Young Victims from Sexual Abuse and Safe Sport Authorization Act of 2017 ”  It is better known as the Safe Sport Authorization Act and it is designed to minimize the risk of child sexual abuse within your sports organization.

Your amateur youth sports organization now has very specific requirements for athlete protection.

  1. Your staff, volunteers, and “anyone these organizations authorize to interact with minor amateur athletes” are required to report known or a reasonable suspicion of child abuse to local law enforcement within 24 hours;
  2. Your organization is legally required to have policies & procedures that specifically address child sexual abuse prevention & response;
  3. Your organization is legally required to train staff, volunteers, and anyone authorized to interact with minor amateur athlete on child sexual abuse prevention and response; and
  4. Your organization is legally required to provide parents training on child sexual abuse prevention and response. Parents aren’t legally required to participate in the training, but your sports organization is required to make it available.

What was once considered ‘best-practices’ in child protection is now federal law.

In my next blog, I’ll talk about the possible consequences to non-compliance.

Best regards,

Toby